When their Strength becomes their weakness: Managing Gen Y

(This one is special to me, as this is my first published work, It started as a small work on this topic which led me to win the best paper award at IHRD's Bangalore HR summit in December 2012. Later on IT got published in NHRD's HRD Newsletter June 2013)

Rahul joined the bank at the age of 24, as a fresh MBA in finance & Marketing, full of energy, dynamism, positivity and passion. All these qualities in the bank were collectively termed as a single adjective –'Aggressive'.

In six months only he became the most successful Relationship Manager for the Business banking division of the bank. The year ended on a new high, when his appraisal brought him the top rating and brought him a seat in 'The Talent Pool' of the bank.

Raghu, Sr. Vice President & National Sales Manager for Business Banking identified the potential in Rahul and decided to take him to a new level in the new financial year. In Rahul, Raghu was able to see his past. The way he joined from the B school 15 years back and set all new performance benchmarks for newcomers. Rahul is similar, infact better than that, as the market scenario is much more competitive now, than what it was in 1995.

Raghu has nominated Rahul as 'Hi-Pot' (High Potential) in the talent pool and now the talent management team has chalked out next 3 years growth plan for him along with learning inputs. An MDP at IIM Ahmedabad in the first quarter, followed by a Leadership & change management workshop at Mumbai by an eminent professor of a US university in 3^rd Quarter and if with this, if he continues to maintain his high performance, he is all set to become Area Sales Manager next year. Beyond this some advance learning inputs in the next two years and he will be set to move to a larger role in another 2 years.

Raghu was happy and excited to find out his mentee and after scaling all possible highs in his career, now he is all set to carve for a new role for himself of 'The Mentor' of a young talent.

The year went positively as planned. MDP, Workshop & Rahul's consistent good performance. The appraisal this time along with top rating brought him the promotion and on top of it all, the new role for the man. Now Rahul was the youngest Area Sales Manager for the Business banking division.

6 months down the line Raghu was sitting with Jaya, Head Line HR for Business banking at the cafeteria, worried about a complaint they received against Rahul by one of his subordinates Anuradha. In addition to this Raghu has already noticed and was worried about the declining performance of the area managed by Rahul.

Anuradha was one of the 3 Sales Managers reporting to Rahul. She was almost of his age, with 3 years of experience she has joined the bank 6 months ago from a competing organization to fill in the position vacated by Rahul. The other 2 team members Ankit and Ajay who are freshers, joined the bank same year & 1 Year ago respectively.

While Ankit looks up to Rahul as his short term role model, Ajay has a little discomfort with his way of dealing with the team and Anuradha is extremely uncomfortable working under the leadership of Rahul since her initial days.

Raghu & Jaya felt about their discomfort as typical peer discord and jealously towards a quick gainer. But the mail from Anuradha was a matter of worry.

Anuradha has warned to quit if things do not improve in coming days. She has highlighted few aspects which were the key discomfort for her as well as for other teammates.

1. Rahul is micro managing the team big time. He expects the team to be in office or at work till late hours every day.
   
2. Calling each member of the team to office each Saturday (which is a weekly off) is a routine.
   
3. He expects every team member to work the way he used to do and with the same style every time.
   
4. At times he appears to be competing with his own subordinates and there were examples where he seeks pleasure in winning against his own reportees in front of Senior Managers or in front of customers for petty aspects.
   
5. As a Manager he clearly failed to understand the functional & personal needs of his team and largely appeared like a school teacher who wants all students be like the best one.
   
6. The matter of concern was his 'Aggressive' leadership or team management where he constantly appears as an autocratic manager.
   

While Raghu & Jaya were still trying to figure out what went wrong Suman joined them in cafeteria. Suman is Head -Corporate Communications for the Bank and takes care of Internal Employee communications too. She has selected Vinay from the last Management Trainee Batch as her teammate. Vinay is very creative person. He writes a blog, he is an avid reader and he is hands on with several photo & print editing softwares. Once he joined, The Bank was no more depended on vendors to design their Monthly News letter and his eye for creative detail has helped the bank to extract better out of each agency.

The challenge Suman is facing with Vinay is, his sort of indiscipline. He often comes late at office, takes so many breaks, some of them are really long (as he often moves out to the nearby Art gallery, post lunch) and has been spotted plying online games, digging up social networking sites and updating his blog during work hours.

Suman has tried pointing these things out to Vinay at times, but what made her mellow down in her argument were his accomplishments. He spends several night outs to complete the news letter, he jumps into a critical agency issue and turn it in the bank's favor etc.

The problems on that table of the cafeteria are not uncommon. These or similar issues are often around Gen Y people, however has never been addressed or identified as a single problem because of different outlook of each scenario, e.g. Rahul's case can be looked as a typical organizational fitment issue and Vinay's case can be viewed as an issue of irregular routine.

On the face of it Flexi-timing looks like the solution of Vinay's case and some team building activity followed by a Leadership training programs look like the solution of Rahul's situation.

However the core issue in both cases is the key characteristic difference between Gen Y people and Gen X system. A Talent management system or routine of Gen X days will naturally conflict with Gen Y workforce and is not going to work. In the long run the worst outcome can be, 'the strength of the Gen Y becoming their Weakness', as highlighted in the above mentioned examples.

And this happens mostly when we try to develop them for a larger role or we try to fit them in a position where (we think) that their capabilities will be challenged to enhance.

It usually happens at times when they are given a new & larger role related to their current function or vertical but does not have much to do as per their core competency. For example a good performing sales person who in his role really enjoys client interaction, the pitching & deal structuring part but a promotion takes him up to the role of Area Sales Manager where he ends up doing 'Man Management' rather than 'client management' in spite of being in so called same function (sales) at a higher rung.

However the most difficult part of this challenge is its identification. Because-

• It never appears as a primary issue.
  
• It often results as work place discomfort & friction
  
• The worst outcome of this challenge is, it reduces the trust in Gen Y manpower and makes their success appear as a mere coincidence or a one time wonder.
  

How can we tackle this?

It is really challenging to handle an employee or a team who is always hurried for results, hungry for more and is 'cool' (read Laid back) and Alert (read passionate) at the same time. But you often see this type of individuals in sports. Their planning is dynamic; it changes with the course of the game. They shout, they laugh, they celebrate, they fall and they rise and they fight again. They win, They lose and they still shake hands and move on to the next game.

If you try to list down key characteristics of successful and fair Sportspersons from any team sports you will end up with following traits invariably-

• Dynamic
  
• Confident
  
• Goal Oriented
  
• Multicultural
  
• Civic Minded/Level Headed / Manages their temperament quickly
  
• Play for Sense of Joy
  
• Play not only for Money but for a sense of achievement Also
  

 

 

 

Surprisingly if you look at the Key characteristics of Gen Y, they are not different. In fact beyond characteristics, the behavior, the attitude and even the team dynamics of a pure Gen Y team are very similar to that of a Sports team.

 

They too are-

 

• Dynamic (Sometimes negatively interpreted as unstable)
  
• Confident (at times perceived as over confident)
  
• Goal Oriented (always look for the outcome/ gain)
  
• Multicultural
  
• Civic Minded/Level Headed / Manages their temperament quickly
  
• Work for Sense of Joy
  
• Work not only for Money but for a sense of achievement (or Identity) Also
  

  
   

This finding gives us a eureka moment to look at all the sports coaching techniques and methods as a vast tool to choose for development of Gen Y individuals.

 

Even without going into those rigorous sports coaching techniques, few simple inspirations from the playground as listed below, can really help us turnaround the work place where Gen Y is 'playing' a major role.

Flat Structure: In a sports team everyone reports to the captain. Not even new entrants in the team reports to vice Captain or other senior players. Similarly Gen Y also prefers flat reporting structure. Even if they are in an organization with multilevel hierarchy, they prefer to be guided, led and mentored by one person they have an easy access to. Flat structure ensures the Strategic alignment and focused approach towards goal. All they need is a Captain instead of a Manager.

The playing Captain: Rarely in sports you have "non Playing Captain". A Captain is also a player in the game and apart from captaincy he also has to play like just another player in the team. Gen Y wants their Managers to run with them and not only instruct them on how to run or how much to run. Moreover sports world is full of examples when a Captain is playing as reliable partner, the results are surprisingly positive. For example you must have come across following statistics on any of the social networking sites-

Who was at the Non striker's end when Yuvraj smashed 6 sixes in a row?

Who was at the Non striker's end when Sachin scored 200* in ODI?

Who was at the Non striker's end when Sachin scored his 50^th test century?

Or, who was at the Non striker's end when Sachin scored his 13000^th test run?

The answer is M S Dhoni. But the point to note is that in all of these scenarios he was the Captain in that game and was playing firmly from the other end. Giving his partner the required confidence to play such ambitious and risky shots. Similarly the manager of a Gen Y team need to dirty his hands but need not score all himself, his presence and company in the field will give the required assurance and confidence to achieve more.

Openness & Sharing: Once you are in filed, there is nothing to hide. No close group discussion. No hidden agendas within the team and no e-mails or paperwork too. You need to 'talk' to each other, whether it is in the form of a shout or scowl or eye contact. Without this you cannot play along. All plans and strategies are shared with all the players in the field. Because you never know when one has to stretch himself at boundary to save 4 runs from a missed catch at slip. The idea is 'A team huddle is more important than the board meeting, when the game is on.'

Gen Y also likes to communicate and connect in the same manner. Instead of receiving memos or e-mailers about strategy or attending a daylong session on the same they would prefer to discuss the same directly with their captain on the go.

Though it's a team game but everyone is unique: Here is the catch. Though it is a team and there are largely 3-4 job profiles only e.g. in a cricket team, batsman, bowler & Wicket keeper. But each batsman has unique positioning depending upon their skill set. Some of them goes as opener, some has to be in middle order. Also amongst bowlers there are further fragmentation s spinners, pacers etc. That spatiality within each profile gives a sports person a USP in his career and positioning in the team.

Similarly in Gen Y each and every member has some unique quality under the common skill set they have for a particular job profile. It is captain & coach's responsibility to play each and every player in the best way. All they want is not to lose their core skill while playing as a team, rather they want their uniqueness to get noticed and become a ladder for their growth. Sports have proven that it is very much possible.

If this is taken care of, it will ensure their interest in game forever and will result in what we call 'employee engagement' at work.

Grow on Your strength: In a cricket team for a batsman to grow in his career, he has to ensure consistent good batting performance. With which he can grow up to become as the best batsman, earn more even can earn more than what the captain earns) and retire as a batsman itself.

Unlike a typical corporate structure where if you bat well as a reward you are promoted to a new role where you have to Bat as well as bowl. If you survive doing this the next level adds the expectation of being a wicketkeeper too, needless to mention your fielding performance is always on check and if you keep doing good with all these responsibilities you will be promoted as the Captain. Where your core job will be to manage entire team, its performance and planning strategy. You need not do all the dirty work you had been doing so far, now you can guide people to do so.

However Sports inspires us to believe that the epitome of career is not becoming the captain or manager but a successful sportsman is one who always delivers great performance with his core skills, in core area of performance. In sports captaincy or coaching its self become another skill set, just like Bating, bowling, fielding etc.

Gen Y too has similar instinct, where they do not want to get detached from the job which they loves to do, They would love to enhance their skill set, learn new things but still they perform their best when their core competencies get nurtured in a way to give them growth in their career.

Sports give us this great inspiration to plan the new talent management framework for Gen Y where their strengths remain as the backbone of their performance.

Earn More than the Captain:

The biggest worry on a young employee's mind is his growth and remuneration. Everyone wants to grow and earn more in life. The present corporate framework inspires one to always look for promotion which in turn will bring in better remuneration and authority. They often innocently trade off their likings in the pursuit of growth. And we end up having sellers craving to become managers craving to become strategist craving to become CEOs. And in this journey we also witness performance drop and engagement loss.

Again sports here give us a model where your earnings are directly proportional to your contribution and performance irrespective of the position you hold. You need not be at the top of the hierarchy to earn the most. Here you can see the best player earning more than the captain, or manager or even coach at times.

This model if applied to Gen Y will give us better retention, better expectation management and also let us choose the Captain easily, as the race will be less crowded and we need not keep the captain's seat blocked for the Senior most fellow but for the most eligible and interested candidate.

In the end:

Taking inspiration from Sports gives us a fresh perspective to manage Gen Y and given the characteristic similarities between Gen Y and Sports team, it will work. However this thought still leaves us with few questions as life span of a sports career is much shorter than that of a corporate career, so will it be really effective strategy in long run? Or how an organization which is running in classical form adapt to this new model quickly, which talks about so many radical changes?

In spite of all the questions we can really give this method a try in small work groups or teams. Especially where Gen Y population is high in numbers. After all it's all about being a good sport!!!

…….

Luv

VT

Burn Them Alive !!!

( An E mail I sent to Delhi CM)

Dear Ms. Dixit,


Though I have shifted to Mumbai 4 years back for work priorities, Delhi always has a special place in my heart.

I would not mention here about the increasing crime rate, the negligence of personal safety an individual must follow in any busy city accommodating Crores of Citizens but what want to highlight her is that the way we punish Rapists is serving as the motivation to the criminal mind set.

If we speak about rapist per say, generally they are the common people with no prior crime track record, they surrender to their instincts under the backdrop of system’s failure to create examples of dire consequences.

Today a normal office goer wears the helmet because he knows not wearing it may cost him a traffic challan any time on Delhi Roads. He also knows that even if he does not stop when a traffic cop calls, he can’t flee away and will be chased by the traffic cops to give him a ticket. Unfortunately we have miserably failed to create similar fear in people’s mind about larger and heinous crimes.

I do not also understand why Rape is ever considered less criminal than murder and why never ever in Indian history of law a capital punishment is given to a rapist whose victim has survived the life.

I also feel that such kind of criminals are more dangerous than terrorists as they not only spread a terror among citizens t but also tore the fabric of trust among common people. Today we cannot trust just another Indian or Delhite on Road because, if he decides to turn monster under the influence of anything we know that fear of law is not even the last thing on his mind.

Dear Mam,

Requesting you to take up this case as the turning point in the history of Indian Law and show the world that such kind of crime will no more be tolerated.

I urge for a Capital punishment to the criminals and I insist please BURN THEM ALIVE!!!

Regards,
Vishal Thakur

Varsha

Hi,

After a long time I am back on the blog.

The tile is "Varsha" and its not about rains...

The person I am here talking about is Mrs. Varsha Gupta or to detail... Mrs. Varsha Bhuvan Gupta.

I always used to think during our college days that once we all will get married, our friendship will change, according to the nature of our spouse, and this is a valid fact almost like a universal law.

This became a latent yet constant worry on my mind since Bhuvan has been asking me to visit Dubai at his place. The core of worry was, will Varsha be able to accept Me the way Bhuvan regards.  This is a common problem in almost all buddy circles, I believe.

However Bhuvan was so much persistent, that we couldn't help it and made a trip to Dubai, the way they have advised.

No doubt Bhuvan has taken exceptional care for everything (but this was somewhere I have expected from him) The treatment from Varsha was a delight.

I can understand a person joining an old gang and enjoying the memory peals and those nostalgic discussions, but the difficult part was to treat & accompany those Friends of spouse (FoS, from now onwards) with love all the time (including some irritating encounters).

Hats off to Varsha, for her love, care,  tasteful cooking and excitement during each and every moment of our visit. Somewhere I have read that One can not fake 'Excitement', rest all emotions can be managed.

I wish Your sense of understanding may go contagious...

Luv

VT

Falling in love with a City part 2 "Delhi !!!"

Hi,

back after a long time. had a lot to share.. Dubai trip, First rains in Mumbai of the season etc. etc. but as I wrote earlier to write about Delhi. I must start from there.

Delhi... to me is like a girl whom I have fallen in love with, of course it has taken its own time. A girl whom I liked in first sight. developed a comfort level day by day. Initially you like some of her qualities and hated few other, but slowly slowly you started loving it completely.

She (Delhi) has given me a lot, first love, first Job and a lot of first experiences in my life. Apart from that Delhi was with me during the toughest time of my life. I decided to spent all my life with Her.

But....

Here comes the sad part of the story, when you are almost settled to settle with her, destiny brings someone new to you. You do not get sufficient time to meet of judge this new person (Mumbai) in this case. But you get married to her (Mumbai) as destined.

I gelled up with this new person (Mumbai) and we started accepting each other and finally get settle almost (booked a home...).

But whenever I visit Delhi, I feel as If meeting the one whom you loved but couldn't get married. Each and every moment spent in Delhi reminds of all those good times we spent together with an unspoken promise that we are there for each other forever.

The dilemma is that you love the new person too....

Would like to end this piece with a couplet one of my younger bro. has posted on FB

"Khwahishon ka kaafila bhi ajeeb hai....Kambakhat gujarta wahin se hai jahan raaste nahi Hote..!!"

Luv

VT (Vish)

Falling in Love with a City... Part 1 (kolkata)

Hi,

Back after a long time, as May 2011 made me travel a bit around 2 special cities of India. Kolkata & Delhi.

Let me talk a little about my time with both (Cities) of them....

Kolkata :

This has been a special place for me because a particular reason. The first official training which I conducted was held at Kolkata on 2nd Sep. 2009. and somehow almost every financial year I began with a program in Kolkata and this is not planned by me but automatically by destiny.

On the following link you can checkout pics of Park Street during my last visit (morning walk)

https://picasaweb.google.com/itsvishal/MorningWalkParkStreatKolkata?authkey=Gv1sRgCMadrvyx2PXCcw#

Over last 2-3 years during my numerous visits (though almost all of them were not more than a day visit) I never got to see Kolkata beyond Airport, Park street & the terrible traffic in between. Still I can sense that the city has some charm in it, which makes you feel its identity very strongly.

Whenever I am there I do not miss to take 3-4 strolls around Park street, and following few things I could not miss to mention:

1. The Arc designs and buildings which resemble with New Delhi's Conaught place & also some parts of South Mumbai.

2. The Oxford book store : My most favorite book store in India, apart from the ambiance & other facilities the atmosphere in this store is somewhat most special. You can see young kids talking about literature, Youngsters exploring Tagore and those Booker stuff etc.

3. The street food. ( and its unbelievable price)

4. The roadside bookshops- Though you can find such shops in every small & big city in India now but the kind of collection you find in Kolkata is class apart.

5. The Floweriest : No doubt, the best floweriest in India would be from Kolkata. even the smallest of the flower shop would have innovative and designer bouquets (again the price tag would make you feel that floweriest in your city are robbers in disguise)

6. Music Mania: The city has an special attachment for Music and even a small restaurant/ Bar in the evening would be having a live band performing everyday. Though you can find such Bars in other metros too but either those will be too hi-fi Restaurants like Hard Rock Cafe or will be too shabby like Delhi's Pahadgunj types. More over the quality of performance here would be good even in some really low price restaurants.

All which I never liked there was Hand pulled rickshaws and development in hibernation. I think the change has arrived and I am eager to see New Kolkata in near future....

As for As Delhi is concerned I will comeback on this topic in my next post!!!

Luv

VT (or Vish...this is a new acronym evolving for me these days...)

The Dialogue... Part 2

"Woh Zindagi Hi kya Jisme Koi Namumkin Sapna Na Ho !!!"

 The Dialogue comes from the movie "Khamoshi The Musical". Though in spite of being a great movie Its not one of my top most favorites. However the Dialogue is definitely the one which makes me ponder a while always.

By the way let me first share with you all that I took a long time for this post as I was busy attending an outbound training program and which has taken a lot of energy. It was certainly a great experience and perhaps I would talk about the same in the next post (with pics of course...)

Lets come back to the current post...

As we grow up we keep on loosing ...

1. Interest in songs (in the lyrics of the songs, to be specific)

2. We start reading more facts than fiction, even when we read fiction, we pick then up as a big notion that they are 'Fiction'

3. Stop believing in coincidences, miracles, telepathy, power of friendship, love, intuitions etc.

4. Stop making new friends and start losing touch with the old ones.

5. Stops enjoying company of Friends...

( let me elaborate the last one.. We start enjoying the set up more than the people around e.g. there was a time when we used have a close group of chosen friends with them we used to enjoy anything and  everything be it a boring movie, a useless song, a senseless book, loved to eat out at any place almost anything etc. so the group or the person was important but not the things you were enjoying with them.

Look at yourself now. Now you need a comfortable atmosphere, things to eat & drink of your taste, a comfortable time and a lot of carefully chosen & planned things which I address as 'Set up' then only you could enjoy or relax.  finding it difficult to understand, let me explain it  further...

If you are in a great restaurant you enjoy eating even with a useless bunch of people, same thing happens when you like to dance with strangers on a 5 start dance floor  or Do not enjoy a good movie just because the Theatre (Sorry Multiplex) did not have comfortable temperature or you did not get the favorite flavor of Popcorn. Got it. The 'set up' has become more important than the company (People).

Actually we started living in the practical world and tuned ourselves to be accustomed to the realizable comforts of the life.  What we do not realise is that it leaves us as a bitter person at the end. Who has a lot negative to talk about anything.

And then I think of the Dialogue "Woh Zindagi hi kya Jusme Koi Namumkin Sapna Na ho".., This Phrase is a lot similar to my another philosophy of "Raste pe hun Manzilon pe nahi..." And I think It has a coincidence with the Tile of Steve Jobs's Book "The Journey Is the Reward" and is also similar to The Bagvad Gita's Philosophy of  "Karmanye Wa Dhikaraste Maa Faleshu Kadachan"...

Why we have stopped enjoying the journey?? Why we are so obsessed with rewards, achievements & Acomplishments....??

Have a Dream.. The one which is quite unrealizable ... (Namumkin Sapna) It will make You:

1. Loving people beyond logic

2. Giving things without calculating Returns

3. Enjoying lyrics of old songs

4. Will make feel things better just by seeing a good old Friend or just by listening to him/her

5. More over it will help you to believe in positive coincidences, power of intuition and a lot of magical things in life...

So what if you never realize the dream, if you live each and every moment with a magical self belief, I am sure the life would be much more interesting & worth living for.

Would like to conclude with one of may favorite songs, requesting you all to visualize its video while reading these lines....

"Hum jo chalne lage, Chalne lage hain Ye Raaste...

Han Han Manzil se behtar KLagne Lage Hain Ye Raaste..."

Luv

VT

The Dialogue...

"Maine Zindgi me hamesha apne Dil ki Suni Hai...

Shayad isi liye main Kabhi Bada Aadmi Nahi Ban Paaya..."

(Alok Nath - In the Movie "Maine Pyar Kiya")

No doubt what ever people say I still & Strongly believe that the best movie from Rajshree's banner is "Maine Pyar Kiya". It may appear a little (or More) ham now a days, with our newly acquired sense of neo-cinema & all. But Maine Pyar Kiya was a super hit and still a compelling watch when ever it is running on Television.

The best thing about a movie is its 'impact' apart from all other technicalities if it makes you feel like what director wanted you to feel, than it will be a success, you may keep criticizing it with all your intelligence later on.

e.g. movies like 'Gadar, K3G, Dabangg or even Maine pyar kiya' made people crazy about these flicks, though you may find many people criticizing these movies later on or at least not counting these movies as their favorites or the one which they liked, somewhat like Chetan Bhagat's Novels.

However this post is not about movies etc. But about my most favorite dialogue from the movie "MPK".

Dialogues are a key feature of motion picture which can never be felt so nicely in any other form of literature viz. novels, poetry etc. As far as old movies are concerned there were lot of emphasis on dialogues unlike today where other technicalities have taken over.  But the kick which a dialogue delivery has to have actually carries a charisma and certainly an unparalleled skill.

So let me remind about the dialogue once again, when in "MPK" Salman khan comes to the village where Suman & her father used to live and asks for Suman, Alok Nath (The Father) gets very angry on what ever happened at Salman's house etc. and he delivers the dialogue of the decade (for me it is even more special)...

"Maine Zindgi me hamesha apne Dil ki Suni Hai...

Shayad isi liye main Kabhi Bada Aadmi Nahi Ban Paaya..."

Through out my life I regarded myself as a person who listens to his heart over his mind. and Yes do faces the consequences every now & then. I always visualise myself as a person who is saying these rocking lines to someone.. (sounds like a looser...)

no its not,

Certainly not.

If you refer to the movie or assume you are watching the movie and this scene has come, I bet you would love to stand in place of Alok Nath.

I know when You say "Main Kabhi Bada Aadmi Nahi Ban Paaya' is like not achieving something great in life etc. But look at the conviction & faith of the man who says that "Maine Zindagi me hamesha Apne Dil Ki Suni Hai' ... Boss you got to be a hero to reach at a level when you can actually say that "Maine Zindagi me hamesha Apne Dil ki suni Hai'.

Afterall how many people can say this with their hands on their heart.  (think Again..Can you say this...???)

Yes if you could live most of your life (the way Alok Nath did in the movie) withstanding to what your heart says, You are a Hero, so what if you are not a 'Bada Aadmi'. After all in most of our bollywood movies the Hero is not a Bada Aadmi....

So friends wishing you all the courage to live by your dreams, the good luck to stand by the success of your dreams and the luxury to say ...""Maine Zindagi me hamesha Apne Dil ki suni Hai'. ... Till the last day of your life.

Luv

VT

Random updates...

Hi,

back after a long time, in between India has lifted the World Cup, Our Division annual meet took place, Navaratri is about to conclude, Anna Hazare won the battle against corruption & IPL has started. In between the new financial year too has started, however the new FY started with so much of work that I couldn't even realise that it has arrived.,

In last some 10 -11 days. I have made around 200 slides for various presentations and the worst part is that Now days I am working on slides even in my dreams. (what a pathetic dream it would be..)

Have written around 20-22 quotes for the event which worked well. While I was designing quotes for the event One quote which was not related to business in any sense struck my mind and it goes like this -

"You can not choose the questions of Your life, but yes You can choose how to answer them."

Sounds cool, Can flaunt it off !!! In fact I think I used it perhaps in some conversation or may be on this blog only..

But the real test is when You have to go through it.

The questions life poses to us leaves us so dumbstruck at time that we just miss to think about their solutions. Mote over the toughest part is when You are waiting for the question which life is going to pose.

Really a difficult phase, when every minute you are waiting to understand what life is going to ask you and this all kills the joy of all other comforts you are possessing in the waiting room of life.

The other irritating things about the wait are ( There is perhaps no language other than Urdu which has such a beautiful word 'Intezaar' which actually carries the dept of the meaning...)

1. You see a lot of people moving around and but you can not.

2. You see things are changing but you got to wait...

3.I think its going too philosophical so i must withdraw... but actually the same happens during any kind of 'Intezaar', other people withdraw their support.

Remember the time when in college other's viva is done but yours is pending... or even deadlier situation when others placement is done, but yours was pending.. When others target are met but yours are pending... when all your friends got married (Happily) and you are pending (Willingly)...

Just to conclude  I wanted to add one couplet, but just now I realised that I am really not getting any meaningful one... Tried searching a lot and could not find some thing better than this...

"Hum Intezaar karenge tera Quyamat tak,

Khudaa kare ke Quyamat ho aur tu Aaye..."

Luv

VT



Raaste pe hun Manzilon pe nahin !!!

Hi,

The tile is not only a phrase to me but has become a philosophy over the years. It started somewhere in 2004 when I was in Delhi and used to talk to my mates over phone, not so often as call were not so cheap, cells were not so common and I wasn't earning a single penny.

I have a lots of memories of land line telephonic conversations with friends. Some of the very interesting part of it were:-

1. We somehow knew it in advance that when we are calling to some close friend in how many rings he/she will pick up, if it exceeds it means somebody else will pick up.

2. We also knew miraculously that if someone is not at home right now, then where else he/she will be.

3. The most interesting part was that the phone at your place is ringing and without any caller ID , you know who is exactly calling you.

4. and not the least, you knew the numbers of your dear ones by heart.

Gone are the days !!! Those things can certainly not be felt with cell phones, which are more of a monitoring devices than Connecting ones.

Anyways Coming back to the topic, the cell phones brought a significant change in ice breaking question on a telephonic conversation. As soon as the person on the other side picks up 99% of the time the first question asked is " Kahaan par ho??" i.e. "Where are You?"

So it was a routine but new question to me when ever someone used to call me on my cell. Now when ever some close friend called up and asked the obvious "kahaan Ho", most of the time I used to be on the road walking somewhere, as I used to walk a lot those days. so I used to answer 'Raste par hun'. I think It was Neerav perhaps who couldn't hear me properly (another issue with cell phones) asked me to repeat and I said "Raaste par hun, Manzilon par nahin'. And suddenly we burst in to laughter. As many a times I & Neerav talk like that bringing some interesting phrases/ dialogues around.

So from then onwards whenever He called & asked "Kahaan Ho" I used to say this only that "Raaste par hun, Manzilon par Nahi" (and it was quite true in practical sense, after all I am in Mumbai now).

Some times I think this line has a lot more meaning in it. It is a fact when you are stuck in Mumbai traffic, almost every day that too attending most of your calls during that time and moreover philosophically too If I introspect It is the very fact word by word that "Main abhi bhi Raaste par hi hun, Manzilon par nahi."

Wish to receive a call someday, on cell phone, when I would be at the destination (Manzil), but I certainly do not want to reach such a destination where no phone call can disturb you, even in the busiest traffic jam.

It is more meaningful to be with someone who share the same path (Humsafar) than to reach at a destination which offers you solitude!!!

Luv

VT

Testimonials I worte on Orkut..

Hi,

I believe you guys must have not forgotten something called 'Orkut'. (Please take a nostalgic breath..)

So You must be familiar with something called 'Testimonial', I had written a few for my dear ones and I thought to write one for each of my close Friends on their respective birthday. Unfortunately Orkut grown much older than us very soon. I was lucky that people for whom I could write have received it and appreciated.

I could write total 4 testimonials, only for Neerav, Ankira, Bhuvan & Shweta only, Publishing them here and will try to write about my loved ones on this blog at times also...

However this too is true about me that "the best of the feelings often stays unspoken..."

==================================

 6/2/09 Shweta

Shweta Vyas used to be Shweta Tiwari few years back, and by the virtue of her surname she had a Roll no next to mine, due to Alphabetical order, in our Engg. college SVITS. It was my good luck and hard luck of hers that for almost all Lab sessions she was bound to be with me in a group.

As I was always busy in extra curricular activities (No pun intended) completing Lab work was reduced to copy and write only (we couldn't copy n paste those days, as all submissions were hand written)

I can not count, how many times Shweta has helped me to complete my files, especially diagrams. Whenever I recall those days I visualize her helping me as well as scolding me same time for not completing the work myself. It was almost like a system, she has always helped me and i always relied on her. But what i missed is to Thanks her sincerely.

Today on her B'day, I'd like to say "Thank You" shweta, for all your support. It’s rare to find such selfless friends in today’s world.

May God bless U.

==================================

 7/30/07 Bhuvan

Bhuvan gupta,

If you ask him a question, he will ask you ten before answering your one.

If you ask him to do some thing he will immediately start doing some thing else.

If you ask him to share some info. he will through a bundle of facts to you....

But, often we overlook the real Bhuvan behind above mentioned mundane actions...

He is the one who asks ten questions to you before answering the one because, he doesn't only want to answer your question but to solve your problem...

He is the one who does some thing different when asked to do a small favor because he tries not only to complete that particular activity but to complete entire course of action to shed your work load.

Similarly when he throughs his bundle of facts, we often overlook, that how much pain he has taken for us...

Dear Bhuvan,

Many a times i scolded you for being you, but the great thing is that you always remain "the Bhuvan" and you never left me. I am proud that I have close friends like you. :-)

==================================

8/16/06 ○○○ Ankira ○○○

Ankira,

You are one of those Gems which I found in SVITS. I can not write much about you as it is so difficult to write about those who are very close to our heart.

To me you are like my kid, my student and very very strong supporter.

I wish i wud see you always growing, achieving more n more success and become better than the best...

I know due to my business [Busy-Ness] I can not share enough time with you, I could not encourage you for yr exams and challenges the way I could have done..

I am sorry for that all.. May you reach all the success you deserve...

See you at the TOP...

==================================

 7/23/06 ♪♪ Neerav...♪♪

Dear Neerav,

Its not easy to find exact words for you but when ever i thing of you this song comes in my mind, I think it perfectly describes you....

"hum hain raahee pyaar ke hum se kuchh naa boliye

jo bhee pyaar se milaa, hum usee ke ho liye

dard bhee humei kabool chain bhee humei kabool

hum ne har tarah ke fool haar mein piro liye

dhoop thee naseeb me, dhup mein liyaa hain dam

chaandanee milee to hum chaandanee mein so liye

dil pe aasaraa kiye, hum to bas yoo hee jiye

yek kadam pe has liye, yek kadam pe ro liye

raah mein pade hain hum kab se aap kee kasam

dekhiye to kam se kam boliye naa boliye"

 

 

============

Luv

 

VT

Laugh & Cry...

Hi,

A small  anecdote, rather a quote I got on facebook is worth sharing here, or rather one of my 'Monday Morning Motivation' kinds...

so it goes like this... (I have already used it in couple of training sessions and in my lectures too...Didn't I tell You I got an opportunity to conduct lectures for an MBA college... Gr8 experience... will pour some of the feelers soon from it...)

 If I tell you a funny joke, you would laugh at it...

If I tell You the same joke again you may still laugh at it for courtesy...

But if I crack the same joke again.. You may perhaps give a smile...

But if I share the same joke again & again  you may not find it funny...

in fact you would find it boring & stale...

The crux is 'You can not laugh at the same joke again & again...'

Then how can we cry over the same problem again & again...???

Even if the problem is consistent & feels like ever existing... just stop crying over it...

Would like to add one quote from my archives.. (I do not own this quote..)

'You can not change your past, but surely you can change the way you feel about it...'

Luv

VT

Back Again...

I got one response from Priyanka and a couple of other on face book to reignite the blog...

Well certainly there is a lot to share now on my side...but will come out...'Ahista..Ahista.."

However to drop something meaningful here pasting a legend (actually a Poem..,. can we call a poem a 'legend'..??) by Nida Fazli...

This one is featured by Jagjit Singh also in one of his albums...

safar me dhoop to hogi, jo chal sako to chalo

sabhi hain bheed mein tum bhee nikal sako to chalo

kisi ke waaste raahen kahan badalti hai

tum apne aap ko khud hi badal sako to chalo

yahan kisi ko koi raasta nahin deta

mujhe gira ke agar tum sambhal sako to chalo

yahi hai zindagi kuch khwaab chand ummeeden

inhi khilonon se tum bhee bahal sako to chalo

Luv

VT

Pls Suggest...

Hi,

Just came to my own blog likw that...

Shockked to see that no. of followers increased, Even when I was not writing anything for almost a year...

Pls suggest 'Should I Start it again..."??

Luv VT

Monday Morning Motivation !!! - 62 Things to make 2010 the Best year of Your Life-By Robin Sharma

Hi,

Last week I got a mailer from Robin Sharma’s (the famous author of The Monk who sold his Ferrari) Blog post regarding 62 ways to make 2010 the best year Yet.

How ever some of them are too idealistic but most of them are realistic and like “must do” stuff.

Pasting here the complete list of 62 Pts, however the some of my favorites are : (1, 2,5,6,7,9,12,15,16,21,22,23,30,46,49,58,60,61)

Check them out Your Self…

62 WAYS TO MAKE 2010 YOUR BEST YEAR YET


1. Remember that leadership isn't about your position. It's about your influence.



2. Get fit like a pro athlete.



3. Lift people up versus tearing people down.



4. Protect your good name. An impeccable reputation takes a lifetime to build. And 60 seconds to lose.

5. Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.



6. Remember that even a 1% daily innovation rate amounts to at least a 100% rate of innovation in 100 days.



7. Believe in your dreams (even when others laugh at them).



8. Measure your success, not by your net worth but by your self worth (and how happy you feel).



9. Take an intelligent risk every 24 hours. No try-No Win.



10. Read "Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist".



11. Watch "Man on Wire".



12. Regardless of your title at work, be a team builder.



13. Remember that business is all about relationships and human connections.



14. Say "please" more.



15. Say "thank you" more.



16. Know your Big 5: the five things that need to happen by the end of this year for you to feel its been your best year yet.



17. Read your Big 5 every morning while the rest of the world is asleep.



18. Read "As You Think". At least twice this year.



19. Be willing to fail. It's the price of greatness.



20. Focus less on making money and more on creating value.



21. Spend less, save more.



22. Leave everything you touch better than you found it.



23. Be the most positive person in every room you're in.



24. Run your own race.



24. Stay true to your deepest values and best ideals.



25. Write a handwritten thank you note to a customer/friend/loved one every day.



26. When you travel, send love letters to your kids on hotel stationary. In time, they'll have a rich collection to remember your travels by.



27. Read "Atlas Shrugged".



28. Be a problem solver versus a trouble maker.



29. Rather than doing many things at mediocrity do just a few things-but at mastery.



30. Honor your parents.



31. Commit to doing great work-whether anyone notices it or not. It's one of life's best sources of happiness.



32. Give more than you receive (another of the truths of happiness).



33. Have your 1/3/5/10/25 years goals recorded on paper and review them weekly.



34. Be patient. Slow and steady wins the race. The only reason businesses that went from zero to a billion in a year or two get featured in magazines is because 99% of businesses require a lot more time to win.



34. Under promise and then over deliver.



35. See part of your job as "a developer of people" (whether you work in the boardroom or the mailroom).



36. Wear your heart on your sleeve. When people see you're real, they'll fall in love with you.



37. Be authentic versus plastic.



38. Read "The Alchemist".



39. Remember that life wants you to win. So get out of your own way.



40. Consider that behind every fear lives your next level of growth (and power).



41. Eat less food.



42. Drink more water.



43. Rest when you need to.



44. Read "SUCCESS" magazine.



45. Write your eulogy and then live your life backwards.



46. Demand the best from yourself.



47. Remember that the more you go to your limits, the more your limits will expand.



48. See everything that happens to you as an opportunity to grow (and therefore, as a precious gift).



49. Be obsessed with learning and self-development.



50. Become comfortable alone (you are the only person you get to be with your whole life).



51. Smile. It's a stunningly effective way to win in business and life.



52. Reflect on the shortness of life.



53. Be bold when it comes to your dreams but gentle with those you love.



54. Remember that success is dangerous because it can kill drive/innovation/passion and going the extra mile. Be successful yet stay hungry.



55. Read "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin".



56. Be of deep value to this world.



57. Own beautiful things but don't let them own you.



58. Use excellent words.



59. Laugh more.



60. Don't complain, gossip or be negative.



61. Plan as if you'll live forever but live as if you'll die tomorrow.



62. Feel free to pass these lessons on to those you want to help.

 Luv
VT

Monday Morning Motivation !!! The Rose

Hi.

Under this title every Monday I mail some motivational story to all my colleagues.

I thought of sharing this on my blog long back and now I feel with the beginning of 2010 I must do it.

After all this will make me live on SaS (Sapney aur Sitarey) regularly. and of course these stories are highly appreciated by my colleagues, because:

1. These are not from the forwards received by me.
2. Neither these are from a dead record of stories.
3. Every week I search for one, and try to choose the one which is most relevant to the people in organization in current situation... These stories come from net, news papers, the books I am reading or sometimes personal experiences..

Anyways... Let me share today's MMM...

Growing Old Vs Growing Up

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old.

Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. she cleared her throat and began:

"We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.
"You have to laugh and find humor every day.
"You've got to have a dream.
When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!"

"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability."

She continued: "The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change." "Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

If you read this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it! We send these words in loving memory of ROSE

Remember, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

Happy New Year !

Luv
VT

3 Idiots or AVATAR... Which one is Better ???

Well I have been asking this question to myself for last 40 hrs and to others too, and the very first response I get is " Both are incomparable"..

Yes I Agree, but I am not asking for a neck to neck comparison and neither this post is to convince readers towards my point of view. In fact both movies are classic and "one of a kind" in their own arena but as we can not wear two diamond rings in one finger (considering sane people only), neither two watches on the same wrist and not 2 ties on the same day though how so ever lovely they are.. similarly My question is "preferring" one over the other and not about "Replacing" one by other.

Let me begin with the conclusion (???) , (Yes You read it right, beginning with conclusion, the corporate world calls it Executive summary)...

I Prefer 3 Idiots over Avatar. And The reasons are listed below..

(Well I know the headers I am using to describe my thoughts are not the Key Result Areas (KRAs) of a producer or director But these all are important to me, to make any piece of literature (Movies included) impressive)

Story Line : 3 Idiots is "Five point some one" +, therefore it has a very strong story line. Avatar too have a sensible & sensitive storyline but it is far from reality. Its not like that I o not like Terminator or other Sci- Fi movies but all the movies which looks like a reflection of your life (or the worlds you are living in) makes audience much connected to it. Be it mythological period movies or Sci-Fi 2012=2022 or 21XX those story lines are definitely at a distance from where we are.

Impact : There are 2 things about an Impact which makes it an Impact.

1. The amount of it.
2. The place where it hits.

Avatar leaves an impact on 'Mind' while 3 idiots leaves it on 'heart'.


The key Impact of Avatar was its visuals apeal, how one can create 'just another world' and that too so perfectly planned. Every thing about Pandora was thoughtfully created not much to explain, I would just copy the words of Karan Johar.." There is GOD and There is James Cameron..." 'Splendid Job'

The Key impact of 3 Idiots is on our education system, grading system and the way we look upto the future of our children. More over the way we look upto our careers.

We all have seen students in Engineering colleges preparring for GRE, CAT, GATE, IIIT and also for JE post in BSNL and othercompanies too. What is more important is a 'key to dream package'. Even if they are asked to do a dog's job for it (and most of us actually do the same)

Our Indian Brains are running the best firm in the world but how many aptents idians get in their name?

How many innovations we do? (What ever we try it termed as "Jugaad" and killed with in local circles)

How much wealth we create..??


Message : Sitting on a tinking table anyone would say global warming and environment issues are far more or at least equally important as reviving the education system.
Infact Global warming is an international issue and not related to just one or few nations... (sounds good if you are invited to speak or even to spect at G77 conference at Copenhagen)

But Games Cameron has burnt 2250 Crs. INR to convey the message. The amount is higher than GDP of several nations. (These are facts, I would have added reference but there are many source confirming it)

To tell the world-save environment, save earth, dont fight, respect the nature James cameron has blown the resources like anything. (what an Epic contradiction) If I were Cameron, I would have written a novel and not inveted Rs 2250 Cr of natural resources to enrich my bank balance further.

While 3 Idiots, which was build in 35 Cr. INR gives a message and stands by it.

Anyways... The debate wil continue..

Just to finish, let me convey the best thing I liked in 3 Idiots:

" Kamyaab Nahi Kaabil Bano, Kamyaabi Apane aap Tumhare Pichhe chali aayegi"


Luv..
VT

A nice thought...

You can not change the past, but you can change the way you feel about it.

As a result you change the way it is affecting your "present", which is the most important thing...

Luv

VT

Vishal Thakur By Ankit Bhardwaj

( It was really an "innovatitve idea" in terms of corpotate ingo that to post something on me on my blog on the occasion of my birthday, but in personal terms its an heart touching effort by Ankit. Yes he took the control of my blog on 29th and gifted me few of his lines as well as attached scan copies of 3 of my old immaturish* writings (somethign I wrote when i was in 10th std.)..Also one of them includes first handwritten draft of "Sapaney aur Sitarey". )

* I do not claim my self a mature writer even today...

Thanks a lot Ankit

I am just removing those articles as I have saved them with me as an input for my biography, if it would ever be written. by the way I am really touched and wondering that how did you get them and kept stored with you for so long...???

"Shukriya once again"

I am publishing the lines written by You...If thease are for me, its much more than a life time achievement...


lafz kaghaz par baithte hi nahi
udte firte hain titliyon ki terah
kab se baitha hoon yaroon
sade kaghaz pe likhke naam tera
bas tera naam hi mukkammal hai
isse behtar bhi nazm kya hogi

2 States...

Hi,

This post is not about Chetan Bhagat's New Novel 2 States, but still I wanted to give this title because:

1. Currently I am reading the same so it has a top the mind recall.

2. Last year this time We were making a move from Delhi to Mumbai, one of the toughest transition in my lifetime so far.

3. Since then I have been thinking to write about this transition of states...

By the grace of god this transition wasn't bad at all. Though I was extremely worried but it was really a smooth one. It was a long process..

It all started in Jun 2008, when i have got signals about this transfer, and since then I and Neha have started preparing our mind towards this shift. There are so many incidents and anecdotes which We experienced from making our mind to move till finally shifting in our current abode.

Since September 2009, every now and then I go just one year back in my thoughts and try to relive those moments of transition. I do not know why, bit this is my habit for a long time. When I shifted from Barghat to Bhopal or from Bhopal to Indore or from Indore to Delhi...

But this transition was far more special and different in many ways..

In coming days I would like to write about Delhi-Mumbai change a lot, but what holds me back is a thought that what ever i feel is still not constant. But just to inaugurate Let me mention one good thing about Delhi:

Its a beautiful city, perhaps the cleanest and greenest place in India amongst all big cities.

and One good thing about Mumbai is:

People are punctual here, and in this city they do not judge you by the brand of car you own.

Well, I wish to write about all my favorite cities right from Bhopal, Indore, Delhi, South Delhi, Mumbai and Thane... (Yes Mumbai is favorite, no.. not because of the fear of some extremist, genuinely favorite)

Some other day I would like to write more on this topic.. but before finishing let me add some more lines about both cities, please mail your views and disagreements...

1. Delhi -Not only city is beautiful, but people too (Look wise)

2. Mumbai- Auto and Taxi are reliable from fare as well as safety point of view.

3. Delhi-Market and malls are well organized and planned.

4. Mumbai-Market is there every where, there is perhaps no resi-commerical classification.

5. Delhi- Too much of parking charges, If you buy a vehicle do take parking charges into calculations.

6. Mumbai- Too much toll charges, f you buy a vehicle do take toll charges into calculations.

By for now...

(I know this is the vaguest blog i have written so far.. but I am a bit disturbed today...)

Luv

VT

Back Again...

Hi,

Its almost a month that I am not on my blog, and finally I am making the statement which I wanted to avoid all these days. Yes "September was a too busy Month". and the first 13 days of October I couldn't write any thing as i was so confused that from where to begun.

The Most difficult thing about mentioning that a particular month was busiest is that when ever in past i did so, the very next season has taken over on the previous. e.g. I remember after 3rd yr. in SVITS I made this statement and in the final year, almost every month was busier than entire 3rd year. (take it with a little pinch of salt, just little)

Well there are lots of things to pen (or rather type) but i would like to start from Mother Teresa. (Hope I spelt her name rightly)

Its about a famous quote of hers.I believe this quote is much more valuable than millions of books and literature on relationships. Like all great thoughts this too is debatable and cynics can always write a user manual on this quote that where to use it and where not and how etc...Well a little cynically I would like to make a suggestion that this quote has the power of soothing all personal relations, even if just one person understands this in a relationship and if both parties understand, nothing like it.

The quote is : "If you try to judge people, You will have no time to love them."

Please don't start saying that whats so great about it, just go back to the quote and reread, rather think over it for a while. Now remember all the people you say you love or you need to love to cope up with your relationship and think how many times you have fought with them because you were judging them.

You might be judging them against Ideal or if not ideal you might be judging them against someone else for sure and the fight starts. At times we not only judge people against there past actions but we also attempt to judge them against the things they have not even done ( in an anticipation that a person like them can do such also... )

I know to love someone you need to stop being judgemental. It definitely doesn't mean that you are supporting all the crime in the world, but if you love someone you have to be a little idiot, a little fact-less, a little fictional and that all you also require to be a lovable person.

I wish I can be a person who can love stupidly and in turn have people around who can love without judging around.

Insha Allah...

Luv..

VT